hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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