I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
