She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
