Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
