I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
