ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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