I wish i was in the wii world.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
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Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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