Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
