i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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