At least make sure they are 18
Why
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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