Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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