he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
