i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
