Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize