It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
