I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
