the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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