matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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