it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
