I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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