WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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