in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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