I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
