i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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