and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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