Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize