Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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