I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
