but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
