Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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