Yo dont text me then not text me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
