Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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(732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi

Replies (15) Good night (1508) Bad night (4987)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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(630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7

Replies (5) Good night (5752) Bad night (1692)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.

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(412): I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate. http://tfl.nu/bucy

Replies (18) Good night (3068) Bad night (990)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.

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(860): you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you. http://tfl.nu/qv5y

Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (2433)
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(516): View more from New York

It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away

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(516): It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away http://tfl.nu/5rgp

Replies (4) Good night (1921) Bad night (913)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.

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(575): We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins. http://tfl.nu/gnps

Replies (9) Good night (2656) Bad night (777)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."

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(330): Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control." http://tfl.nu/dz9s

Replies (12) Good night (1651) Bad night (566)
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(571): View more from Virginia

It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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(571): It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack http://tfl.nu/ebu7

Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (1932)
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(801): View more from Utah

When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?

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(801): When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married? http://tfl.nu/a2v4

Replies (10) Good night (3553) Bad night (643)
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(949): View more from California

We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.

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(949): We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car. http://tfl.nu/vgtj

Replies (2) Good night (1082) Bad night (546)
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(301): View more from Maryland

ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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(301): ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED. http://tfl.nu/hc30

Replies (7) Good night (941) Bad night (588)
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(276): View more from Virginia

They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?

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(276): They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends? http://tfl.nu/rjha

Replies (8) Good night (1609) Bad night (800)
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(949): View more from California

You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

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(949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s

Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (431)
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(360): View more from Washington

I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?

(1-360): View more from Washington

considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.

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(360): I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel? (1-360): considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'. http://tfl.nu/0tmm

Replies (0) Good night (1042) Bad night (350)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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(484): I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata... http://tfl.nu/0hr1

Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (274)

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