found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.