the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
