Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
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is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(