My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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