So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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