please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
