There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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