But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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