How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
