she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
