We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize