my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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