i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So squirting runs in the family.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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