Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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