we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
