so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
