why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
