I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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