this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
