i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
