Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
