You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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