I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You pole danced in your parka.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
