She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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