my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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