tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
