im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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