i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
