she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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